Thankful Day 18

I'm thankful for my wife's enthusiasm for decorating the house and giving it a great Christmas look.

Thankful Day 17

I'm thankful for living in the best country in the world! For a Thanksgiving full of good food, fun games with the kids and lazy boob tube watching.

Thankful Day 16

I'm thankful for kids old enough to be left at home just long enough for Shannon and I to go on a date.

Thankful Day 15

I'm thankful for computers and other technology that makes my life so much easier...even when it doesn't.

Thankful Day 14

I'm thankful for people living in their passion! Inspiring me, teaching me and moving me forward in mine! Thanks Kirk Duncan, Dr. Paul, Shantel McBride, Marilyn Sorensen, Angelia Johnson, Ann Web, LuAnn Staheli, The Brown's, and others who have increased my life value over the past 30 days! I look forward to the journey ahead!

Thankful Day 13

I'm grateful for songs of praise!

The Dating Battery

Dating and spending time with your spouse are perhaps the most important things you can do to strengthen your relationship. When I say spend time with each other, I don’t mean spending it in front of the television not talking. Take walks together, take dance lessons together, ride bikes together, sit and talk together, etc. Be creative.

Also, keep up the same good behavior you used when you first began the dating process with your spouse. Husbands, open the car door for her. Wives get made up for him. The point of dating is to remind each other on a consistent basis why you chose each other, as well as to grow together.
Dating will take you out of your normal routine. It allows the two of you to recharge your batteries that are creating the love you have with each other.

Create a picture in your mind of a large battery sitting in the middle of your chest right below your sternum. This battery is charged by a connection to both your mind and your heart. It’s function is to help run the lungs for breathing, the right side of your brain for creativity and the left for devotion. It runs your stomach for digestion and your reproductive organs for sexual desire. The great thing about this battery is it is a rechargeable battery. Not only is it rechargeable, it also gets stronger and helps all those organs work better the more you charge it. All you have to do is give it the right juice. The important thing you have to understand about this battery is it’s not a nuclear battery. It can NOT go for ever without a charge. The longer it goes without a charge; it will actually start to work the opposite way and loose its ability to hold a charge. Given a long enough period without a charge, the battery will eventually stop and therefore will no longer be able to send the proper charge to the vital organs. You’re feeling of love, devotion, creation, and sexual desire will severely decrease and has the chance of stopping all together. Your breathing and digestive system will stop running properly as well. Will you die without this battery? Possibly not. Will your love for each other die? Most likely, yes!
So how do you get that battery charged?
Keep dating!

In her book, Mating in Captivity, couples and family therapist Esther Perel talks about situation when she encouraged a client to imagine her spouse as if she had just met him, to put him into that “mysterious” category again. Can dating and romance be difficult in the midst of all that life is throwing your way? You bet. But the more you continue to date your spouse, the more you will learn and grow together.

Remember when you first started seriously dating each other? When things started to “turn on” for the both of you? Your breath became shorter or faster when you were around them. Your devotion to the time you’re willing to spend with only them became stronger. Things seemed to have more color or life in them and you felt more creative. You were definitely more sexually attracted to them. Even your health seamed better. That’s because your battery was being fully charged on a regular and consistent basis.

There are different types of dates you can do as well. Mix it up a little with couples dates and group dates. Make sure, though, that the one-on-one dates outnumber the others. The time you spend alone with each other gives you the opportunity to continue getting to know each other, to find out what’s going on in each other’s head for that week. It gives you both a chance to get back to the basics.

Dating vs. a Night Out
Make sure you treat each date as such rather than as a mere night out.
What’s the difference, you ask? A night out is just a way to get out of the house or any other everyday situation. It focuses on yourself and the desire to escape for a moment, take a breather from your daily life. The focus is typically inward on these occasions. Everyone needs a night out from time to time—especially mothers of small children—and it can be an integral part of maintaining sanity.
A date, on the other hand, focuses on the other person. It’s about getting to know them, to find out what makes them tick, their likes and dislikes, future goals, and accomplishments. A date is also a way to impress the other person and show yourself in the best light possible.
The mistake for married couples is to believe a night out and a date are one and the same. THEY ARE NOT! It doesn’t matter if you have been married for two days or 50 years. Do not mistake the one for the other. Keep dating each other as often as possible. Be open to the possibility that both of you need to date each other as I described above, where you continually learn about each other’s needs, accomplishments, daily activities, and future goals.
Decide, together, how often each month you are willing to set aside time for nights out, both together and apart. Husbands, encourage your wife to get out more, to have her own night out. That doesn’t mean it can’t be with their husband, but it doesn’t have to be with him either. Wives, do him the same favor.
Once that is settled, decide how much time you are going to set aside for dating—yes, this one must be done with your spouse. Is it a set time every week or does it change on a weekly basis? What are you going to do, where are you going to go, and what will you focus on? Make it a plan. Can you just wing the details sometimes? Yes. But the most important thing is to make sure you treat it as a date and that you focus on continuing to get to know each other. Thus recharging that battery.

Thankful Day 12

I'm thankful for inspiration...even when it wakes me up at 4:30 in the morning!

Thankful Day 11

I'm thankful for morning car rides with Shannon.

Thankful Day 10

I am thankful for my body and the fact that it allows me to run, jump, dance, hug, hold hands, and do just about whatever I ask of it...even if it complains with aches and pains sometimes.

The Feeling of "Love"

The feeling of Love can actually overpower your intuition or spirit telling you what you should do in a situation. Many relationships are started out because of a feeling, even though your intuition tells you its not a good idea. It can be like trying to savor the delicate flavor of a strawberry while eating a pickle. Both flavors are present but one completely overpowers the other.

When we fall in love we are falling into a stream of naturally occurring amphetamines running through the emotional centers of our very own brains. That is why we feel exhilarated, manic, powerful, creative, suddenly grown up if we are young and suddenly rejuvenated if we are older. The ecstasy of love is located in our nerves; we get high; we speed. Eventually, our nerves being what they are, their endings become amphetamine immune or exhausted, and the delirium of our free fall abates. We come down to earth.

-Elisabeth Young-Bruehl, “Where Do We Fall When We Fall in Love?” Journal for the Psychoanalysis of Culture and Society 8 (Fall 2003): 279 (emphasis added).

Thankful Day 9

I am thankful for quiet moments in spiritual places.

Thankful day 8

I'm thankful for inspiration when I most need it and when I don't expect it!

Thankful day 7

Thankful for quiet Sunday mornings! No crazieness from the world stuff. Just me, the family, and the spirit!

Thankful day 6

I'm thankful for the ability to make others laugh and to laugh in return.

Thankful day 5

I'm thankful my parents decided to get frisky one night 37 years and 9 months ago today and by doing so I was able to come to this world!

Thankful day 4

I'm thankful for children who get up on time, get dressed, get ready for school and leave the house with an optimistic outlook on the day!

Thankful day 3

Today I am thankful for like minded people to network with. Amazing how God puts specific people in our path to help give us exactly what we need!

Thought I would share this article!

Stay Married if you want to have kids!

Thankful day 2

I am thankful for people willing to share their talents and skills. It helps me to remember my responsibility in doing so as well! As I let my own light shine, I unconsciously give other people permission to do the same!

Thankful month

As suggested by my wife, I am going to do a daily post all month long about something I am thankful for.
Today I am thankful for a wife who always has good suggestions and is always looking for ways to help me in my personal and business life!

Perfect in my imperfection, and still working on it!

If you have spent any time reading my blog or my newsletter, it will be no surprise to you when I say I have a bit of a challenge when it comes to spelling and grammar. If you are someone who politely says to yourself, "Why does Dino use two "n's" in finnish?" or "I can't believe he just spelled 'weather' instead of 'whether'" or "Does he not know there is a thing called 'Spell Check?" You, my friends, are not alone! It drives Shannon crazy sometimes. It's gotten to the point I’m not supposed to send out a post or newsletter without her getting a chance to proof it first. The challenge comes when she is not around and I don't want to spend the entire day waiting to get her approval.

Most of you have been very nice just to put up with it to this point. Some have not and made sure they pointed out the "unprofessionalism" it shows. One person wrote me just to tell me I sounded ignorant and was going to opt-out of my news letter. Sure that stung a bit, but I quickly "built a bridge and got over it"! (see previous blog entry).

For years I blamed it on my family genes, where there is definitely a lot of evidence to back me up. Both my parents, my older brother and younger sister are terrible spellers. This was definitely a concern as I started to have my own kids. I did not want them to get that gene! I did have hope in the fact that Shannon was a great speller. However, I must admit, I wasn't the most disciplined student in school.

It wasn't until this last summer that my eyes were opened up to what the true cause might be. My son, Hayden, was having a few struggles in school with spelling, reading and math. Because Shannon home schooled the kids for the last two years, she was able to get a firsthand look at the challenge. She started to suspect he might have a learning challenge. After some researching, and eventually testing, we discovered that my son has dyslexia.

During her research on the subject, Shannon would tell me about some of the questions and warning signs. I was shocked at how many of the symptoms I could easily relate to. I have joked for all my life that I had dyslexia, usually to cover up an embarrassing public display of misspelling. But it was just a joke, or so I thought. The more we learned about it, the more we realized I had some level of it as well. I had just learned, as many undiagnosed dyslexics do, to cope with it and find ways around it. One of the most important focuses we had with Hayden was not to make him feel less than he is. He knows he has dyslexia and what it is. More importantly, he knows what it is not. Most dyslexics are highly gifted in other areas, especially oral skills, creativity and relationships. He definitely excels in these areas, and we are focusing on developing his strengths as well as working on his weaknesses. He knows it is something he can overcome. With the right tools, he can become a great speller, reader and writer; and that this imperfection does not make him any less perfect. This was a lesson for me as well.

As I write and create, I do my very best to give from my heart. My hope is the message I am trying to share comes through to you despite my spelling and grammar errors. Consider my misspelling and incorrect use of grammar a object lesson for life: If you spend your time looking for all the negative, wrong or incorrect things in life, there is little doubt you will have a problem finding them. Unfortunately for you, and those in your life, you also miss out on all the wonderful messages along the way.

My challenge to you this week is to find perfection in the imperfection of your life.

“May I suggest that our ability and our credibility to exemplify reverence for God is strengthened as we show respect for each other. In today’s society, the standards of decorum, dignity, and courtesy are assailed on every side and in every form of media. As parents and leaders, our examples of respect for each other are critical for our youth and children because they are watching not only the media—they are watching us! Are we the examples we need to be?” Margaret S. Lifferth

What is your emotional currency?

In business currency is used to measure it's success. In the US we use the dollar, Japan the Yen, Europe the Euro and so forth. Every business, even non-profit's, need money to operate successfully. When companies decide to do business with each other internationally, it is vital they know the exchange rate for their primary currency as well as the rate of the currency they will be doing business with. Lately the dollar's value has been dropping internationally so it typically takes a lot more of them to buy something over seas than it did before. That is not to say there is no value in it from other countries, it just might not be the currency other business consider the most valuable to them.

In your marriage, your spouse and you both have one currency you value above another. That currency is how we express or show love to one another. This currency is how you communicate your love to them and they to you. The challenge arises in many marriages when either one THINKS or ASSUMES they know the others currency without actually taking the time to find out, or better yet ask, what their spouses real currency is. Some highly value physical touch over material gifts while others place the most value on together time.
The confusion comes in the fact that all currency has some value to it, however not all currency has the most value according to each person. Service projects are probably always appreciated by her but if her most valued currency is encouragement or praise you will never get the response you want, and she will never feel you are as loving as you could be in her mind.
This comes in to evidence when you hear someone say things like, "I do everything on he list of honey-do's! I take out the trash, she never has to clean the car or mow the lawn, and yet it is still never enough!" However, even though those things are nice, if all she really wants is for you to tell her how beautiful she is, how proud you are of her and how amazing a mother she is, you will be coming up short in her emotional currency "bank". It's as if you are giving her $1000 US and her currency is YEN. She appreciates the money and knows it has value, it just isn't the currency she would prefer to do business in.
All of us have a currency that we value over all others. Most of the time ours is not the same as our spouses. Our "exchange rates" are not equal.
The good news is there are only currencies you have to learn. As soon as you know what your spouses is, you can focus on giving that to them and you will see a major difference in how they accept your tokens of affection.
Here they are:
Acts of kindness (charity or service): Doing something for them, even when you don't want to. This is my wife's. She feels the most love when I hang a picture, clean out a closet, paint a room, run errands or just about anything on my eternal "honey-do" list.
Physical touch: Holding hands, a hug, sitting next to each other, a back rub, a tap on the bum, sexual foreplay and sexual intercourse.
Affirming words (encouragement, praise): Telling them how wonderful they are, celebrating a "win" at work, encouraging them to peruse a hobbies or education, telling them how proud you are of them, telling them how good they look and make you feel, tell her what a great mother/wife she is, tell him how much you appreciate his hard work.
Material gifts: Cards, flowers, presents, love letters, making dinner for him/her, gifts both handmade and store bought.
Time: Talking with each other (Television off, or at least on pause), running errends together, going on dates, going for walks together, vacations, playing games with the kids.

As you can see all of these currencies have a value to them. However, we all hold one value over the other. If you figure out what your spouses' is and focus on giving them their currency you will never feel short changed!