The words we use

Have you ever thought about the power of your words? Think of it. A man and woman are bound together by God and the law due to another person pronouncing they are married. Just seven little words join two people together in the eyes of both government and church.
Christians believe the world and everything in it was created by a Word. Lives have been changed by words, both for the good and bad. However how often do we look at the words used in our own homes? Do the "No's" and the "not now's" or the "shut up's" dominate the language in your household?
In your marriage, are you aware of the power of your words to each other? Do you use words that degrade your spouse or words that uplift?

When Shannon and I were first married I worked with a guy who would often get on a phone call with his wife, right on the sales floor, that would end up in an argument. During the argument he would say and call her the most foul things I have ever heard. The venom that was spewed from his mouth was sickening. Besides being appalled by this behavior, I would often think of the old saying, "You kiss your mother (in this case his wife) with that mouth?"

Although the heart is physically the strongest muscle in your body, your tongue is definitely the sharpest.
In my seminars I talk about the differences in language usage depending on the job site. The language you would hear on a construction site is going to be dramatically different than what you would hear in a law firm. The challenge is understanding your home should have a different standard when it comes to the language used in it. If you have children, you should also be aware of the lessons you are giving and the example you are setting with both the words you use and the tone in which you use them.

In the musical Into The Woods, the Witch sings a lament towards the close of the show and the words are, "Careful the things you say, children will listen. Careful the things you do children will learn."

A few years back, when my daughter Hannah was about three, I was helping in our church nursery. As one of the other new fathers and I were sitting talking our attention was drawn to another little girl over at the kitchen play area. This little girl, who could not have been more than three years old, was talking on the play phone to her "husband". We were in awe as she proceeded to complain to her "husband" about the fact that he would be home late again from work. I will never forget the exasperated look and sound coming form this little girl as she no doubt mimicked her mother with complaints of, "Fine. I'll just have to put the kids down my self again tonight." "Well, I already have made dinner, so if you are going to eat out again, it'll just go to waist." "Whatever!" She ended the call by slamming the phone down and grumpily storming back to washing the toy dishes while grumbling under her breath.
At that moment, I knew I was a fly on the wall in this home and it was very uncomfortable. Certainly because of what I was witnessing, but also because it made me do a mental inventory of how I speak to my spouse in front of my children. Am I that cutting. Do I talk like that? What do my kids repeat that I have said in front of them before. My wife an I do not use fowl language at all so I was not worried about that. However, I realized none was used by the little girl either, but the words were still harmful, nonetheless.

One of my personal flaws when it comes to speech is my sarcasm. I love to use sarcasm in almost everything I do. I feel it lightens the mood in any situation and allows people to get a glimpse of me right up front. The challenge with my sarcasm is I have now given that same gift to my kids. I say a "challenge" because they have not learned how to use it appropriately and with respect. I now have to watch how I say things and also have to teach my children the proper way to use that type of humor.

When it comes to the language you use in your home, be more aware. Show more respect and be a better teacher. Make sure the "yeses" and the "I love you's" and the "Thank you's" out weigh any other.