Posts
In business there are always things you can control and things you can not. The stock market is something that can not be controlled, the way you invest in the stock market and handle the daily changes in it is something you can control. This is the same in your marriage relationship.
I was reading an article recently about dealing with addictions in your marriage and I wanted to share some thoughts. The article was designed to help a spouse of an addict understand what they can and what they can not control in the situation. As we have all heard, from alcohol to drugs to internet pornography these addictions are increasingly attacking the the bonds of marriages. Often when a spouse learns of a partner's involvement with an addiction they are likely to have a feeling of hopelessness, anger, fear, betrayal and if that addiction involves pornography, a feeling of diminished self worth.
In this confusing time it is important to understand the things a spouse of an addict can and can not control.
Factors spouses CAN NOT control- Their partners behavior- Their partners desire to change their partners recovery process.
Factors spouses CAN control- Their response to their partners behavior- Their ability to care for themselves- Their willingness to forgive- Their own since of self worth
When reading these factors I found it interesting that these factors also are a part of your relationships in general. Wither it be with your spouse, your child, co-worker or your mother-in-law. So often we get involved in the belief that we can change them, usually through complaining, nagging or anger. The truth, that we all know, is that you have no control over other peoples behavior. The only behavior you can have any control over is your own.
Looking for ways to improve yourself and feeling of self worth on an individual basis is crucial to the success of your marriage. Both partners are responsible to bring 100% of their best to the "marriage table". When both are doing so and encouraging each other in their endeavors, with heartfelt interest, the false statement of "we grew apart" that so many use to excuse bad behavior will not be a concern in your Business of Marriage.
