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Now we need to clarify how to make those adjustments.
Often, if the adjustments are big in the nature of your relationship you might tend to do that action out of desperation to show him or her you are "Trying" or "Changing". Unfortunately this type of change is usually only temporary because you are not transforming the actual behavior, your only doing it for show.
-If the complaint from your spouse is the lack of romance; taking then out to a nice restaurant and a movie once and expecting that to be sufficient for the next year, is a desperation move, not a transformation in your behavior.
-If the complaint is you don't help around the house as much as they would like; putting your dishes in the sink or even going so far as washing the actual dishes three times that week, then never again, is not a transformation, it's desperation.
Anything you are doing just so you can pull it out of your, "remember that time" bank is not a transformation, it's desperation.
When a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, everything about it changes. It's physical body actually breaks down into a goo or slime then rebuilds itself into the form of a butterfly.
Like the caterpillar you need to be willing to transform yourself into a new being. This is very important, you also need to be willing to take the time to transform as well. The caterpillar does not become a butterfly over night. It takes time.
Those who are just doing the action out of desperation, ask themselves or their spouse the limiting question, "How much time it will take for "X" to happen."
Those who really want a transformation in the relationship won't even realize when the process is over...if it ever is.
