Respect, Success and Space

I was recently listening to a CD by John Assaraf an amazing personal development trainer and one of the teachers of The Secret. In the CD he recounted a story about love and respect that I wanted to paraphrase for you. He was at dinner with his wife Maria along with Susanne Summers and her husband Alan Hammil. John's wife asked Susanne how she and her husband Allan have stayed so strong in their marriage for so long through all the success. Susanne's reply was very simple she said, "#1 I give him his space and I respect him totally. And I know that he would love me even if I wasn't successful." She then asked John's wife, "Wouldn't you still love John if he wasn't successful?" Without missing a beat John's wife replied, "Of course I'd still love him....I'd miss him but I'd still love him."

Of course it was a funny little story John tells, but what Susanne Summers said is something we all can learn from.

First of all she said I give him his space.

As a spouse we should be willing, even encouraging for our spouse to have the space they need to grow, learn and stretch themselves. Doing activities together is great and should have a specific focus in your relationship. However, giving the other the opportunity to grow and expand as a man, woman, mother, father, husband or wife will only allow for each of you to be your best selves and will contribute to the growth of the marriage.
You need to make sure this "space" does not conflict with the duties and responsibilities of the marriage and home, and yet both of you definitely need that space to call your own.

The next thing she said was she respected him.

If you do not respect your spouse, you need to figure out why. Giving respect and feeling respected is crucial to the success of your marriage. Do you show respect in your words and deeds? In showing respect do you acknowledge the time, effort and talent it takes to do what each of you does throughout the day? My wife home schools our kids. I have so much respect for her ability to teach them what they need to know. To care enough for their education that she has taken it upon herself to guide their instruction.
In turn, I know she respects me for all I do in my endeavor of public speaking, writing and training. I know thins because she tells me. Even when she laughs at my many spelling mistakes, she always backs it up with some sort of "I'm proud of you and I respect what you are doing here" gesture.
How do you express your respect of your spouse to them?

And lastly she said that she knew her husband would love her even if she wasn't successful.

I once had a client who was having some difficult financial times and almost in passing, I asked his wife how she was doing. She responded with something I will never forget. She looked at me and said, "No matter what our finances are, or how bad it gets I know I have a husband who loves me and whom I love. I know he loves our children and loves God. Everything else can be taken away from me and as long as I still have that, I am doing just fine."

I believe a man can go through anything in life as long as he knows he is loved and respected.
This week make it a goal to show your love, respect and devotion to your spouse in all things. Not just the big stuff, but the little things as well. Then give each other the gift of personal space or alone time. Do this and just watch how your relationship will grow.