Posts
Hey all-
I know it's been forever since my last posting. I have been a little busy with the Millionaire Mind evening here in Salt Lake. It finally happened on the 23rd and it was great.
We had about 850 people register and 700 show up. That's a great showing! With over 500 of those being Free people, that's not bad at all.
Everyone really enjoyed themselves. They were thrilled when the announcement of the three day was given. November 13-15 is the date. We had just under 100 people sign up for the VIP package and I was just told by Peak's that the MMI event is 3/4 of the way full already.
What a night.
Harv was really happy with the showing and the energy.
I am so busy right now that I can't write much.
I am busy writing the book and getting the two day event ready. It is going to be a blast.
Dino
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
Parental Warning
Last week I had a bit of a scare. I got a call from my mom that my dad, whom she has been divorced from since I was 8, had been rushed to the hospital for suspicion of a heart attack.
My dad is 59 years old. Never had any major medical challenges and other than needing to shed about 30 pounds, in fairly good health.
The good news is that he is just fine and the doctors think it was just a stress attack.
For me it was a bit of a moment because I have never really thought of my dad's death. Not in a real way anyway. My mom has had some medical issues so I have contemplated her passing away before but never my dad. So it really hit me.
My dad and I have not had the smoothest of relationships. After he and my mom divorced I really felt that he would rather move on with his life and his new family and that myself and my siblings we just a constatnt reminder of the burden he had to pay child support to every month. There was even a time where I did not visit him or talk to him in my teen age years. Eventually we started a basic relationship again. One where we would share pleasantries and a few disscussions but nothing really deep. Then when Shannon and I started to have children I saw him become this really great grandfather. I actually got a bit jelous of the way he acted and treated my kids. He was so good, caring and loving to them that I wondered why he wasn't that way towards me as a kid. After a few discussions with Shannon, I realized that my dad never learned how to be a dad. His father died when he was 16 years old and wasn't that close of a guy when he was alive. So how was my dad supposed to know how to or how not to act? It was a bit of a break through for me.
The biggest breakthrough came during a seminar I attended called Landmark Forum. I was able to really release my dad from the Story I had created in my head about him and why he did the things he did and why I react to him the way I did. It was really liberating. I actually called him and talked to him about it. I have never been in a situation where my dad and I had a real conversation. Where the two of us were telling the other how much we love each other through the tears we were shedding. It was quite a event for us.
The point is this. After receiving the call about him being rushed to the hospital I shed more tears. This time out of concern for his health and for the potential loss of him in my life. I did not, however, worry about the things not said that so many people worry about. I really felt great that I was able to talk with him and release the feelings I had. That y dad and I now have a relationship, a real relationship, where I can talk with him and laugh with him with no guard up whatsoever. Knowing that if he did pass away tomorrow, I would be at peace with what has been said between us.
If you have an issue with one or both of your parents it's time to clear that up. In other words, let it go. There is an old saying when it comes to holding on to resentment and anger, "It's like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." It's costing you more than it's worth. NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION, when you let "the story" go it frees you to become whatever you want and allows you to get on with your life.
My dad is 59 years old. Never had any major medical challenges and other than needing to shed about 30 pounds, in fairly good health.
The good news is that he is just fine and the doctors think it was just a stress attack.
For me it was a bit of a moment because I have never really thought of my dad's death. Not in a real way anyway. My mom has had some medical issues so I have contemplated her passing away before but never my dad. So it really hit me.
My dad and I have not had the smoothest of relationships. After he and my mom divorced I really felt that he would rather move on with his life and his new family and that myself and my siblings we just a constatnt reminder of the burden he had to pay child support to every month. There was even a time where I did not visit him or talk to him in my teen age years. Eventually we started a basic relationship again. One where we would share pleasantries and a few disscussions but nothing really deep. Then when Shannon and I started to have children I saw him become this really great grandfather. I actually got a bit jelous of the way he acted and treated my kids. He was so good, caring and loving to them that I wondered why he wasn't that way towards me as a kid. After a few discussions with Shannon, I realized that my dad never learned how to be a dad. His father died when he was 16 years old and wasn't that close of a guy when he was alive. So how was my dad supposed to know how to or how not to act? It was a bit of a break through for me.
The biggest breakthrough came during a seminar I attended called Landmark Forum. I was able to really release my dad from the Story I had created in my head about him and why he did the things he did and why I react to him the way I did. It was really liberating. I actually called him and talked to him about it. I have never been in a situation where my dad and I had a real conversation. Where the two of us were telling the other how much we love each other through the tears we were shedding. It was quite a event for us.
The point is this. After receiving the call about him being rushed to the hospital I shed more tears. This time out of concern for his health and for the potential loss of him in my life. I did not, however, worry about the things not said that so many people worry about. I really felt great that I was able to talk with him and release the feelings I had. That y dad and I now have a relationship, a real relationship, where I can talk with him and laugh with him with no guard up whatsoever. Knowing that if he did pass away tomorrow, I would be at peace with what has been said between us.
If you have an issue with one or both of your parents it's time to clear that up. In other words, let it go. There is an old saying when it comes to holding on to resentment and anger, "It's like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." It's costing you more than it's worth. NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION, when you let "the story" go it frees you to become whatever you want and allows you to get on with your life.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Good night
A routine that is so vital to kids is the evening routine. So many parents just send their kids up to bed without a closing of the day. Don't we all want a happy ending? If it's a movie, television show or a book and good ending is appreciated. It's the same with kids and the end of their day.
Since our kids were little we have always had a routine to get them in bed. And we always made it an earlier than later bed time.
We start with a family prayer. (If you are not religious, then just a things we are grateful for today sharing time will work). Then all the kids separate to their rooms and wait for us to come in. Then we ask the question- "What were you're highs and lows for the day?" They then name one or two things that they felt were good about their day and then one or two things that were not so good. This allows them a quick review of their day with us and also allows them to express any concerns with their siblings or friends, sorrow for bad behavior or things they want to work on for the next day.
Then we ask what they want to dream about tonight. Now the night is in there hands. We noticed early on that this alone helped cut down on the nightmares children often have because they go to sleep now thinking of this dream.
Then we have a series of quick answer questions.
We ask /They answer
"Who do we love?" /"Me"
"A little or a lot?" / "A lot"
"For today or forever"/ "Forever"
"Who's the luckiest mom and dad in the world?" / "You are."
"Why?" / "Because you have such great kids."
"Who are..."/ "Going to grow up and do great things in the world."
"Like..." /They say what ever they want.
"Good night, sleep tight." / "Don't let the bed bugs bite."
We do this with each child individually. It takes about two minutes each but it is something we all look forward to. It helps them settle down, relax, have some alone time with us and most importantly ends their day on a great note.
If I'm out of town on work I can still call in and do it and it's lite a hug over the phone.
The last thing we do before we shut doors is we sing a little song. It's a bit cheesy but it is really cute. The song we sing is a prayer. I actually stole it from one of my childhood favorite shows, The Donny and Marie show. It's their ending song, which works as a prayer as well.
"May tomorrow be a perfect day, may you find love and laughter along the way. May God keep you in his tender care, until we're together again. Good night everybody."
Then the doors shut and everyone is down for the night.
Just like in most things kids like routines. It makes thing normal and reliable. This is just one of the systems we have in place for them.
What are some of the systems you have in your family?
Since our kids were little we have always had a routine to get them in bed. And we always made it an earlier than later bed time.
We start with a family prayer. (If you are not religious, then just a things we are grateful for today sharing time will work). Then all the kids separate to their rooms and wait for us to come in. Then we ask the question- "What were you're highs and lows for the day?" They then name one or two things that they felt were good about their day and then one or two things that were not so good. This allows them a quick review of their day with us and also allows them to express any concerns with their siblings or friends, sorrow for bad behavior or things they want to work on for the next day.
Then we ask what they want to dream about tonight. Now the night is in there hands. We noticed early on that this alone helped cut down on the nightmares children often have because they go to sleep now thinking of this dream.
Then we have a series of quick answer questions.
We ask /They answer
"Who do we love?" /"Me"
"A little or a lot?" / "A lot"
"For today or forever"/ "Forever"
"Who's the luckiest mom and dad in the world?" / "You are."
"Why?" / "Because you have such great kids."
"Who are..."/ "Going to grow up and do great things in the world."
"Like..." /They say what ever they want.
"Good night, sleep tight." / "Don't let the bed bugs bite."
We do this with each child individually. It takes about two minutes each but it is something we all look forward to. It helps them settle down, relax, have some alone time with us and most importantly ends their day on a great note.
If I'm out of town on work I can still call in and do it and it's lite a hug over the phone.
The last thing we do before we shut doors is we sing a little song. It's a bit cheesy but it is really cute. The song we sing is a prayer. I actually stole it from one of my childhood favorite shows, The Donny and Marie show. It's their ending song, which works as a prayer as well.
"May tomorrow be a perfect day, may you find love and laughter along the way. May God keep you in his tender care, until we're together again. Good night everybody."
Then the doors shut and everyone is down for the night.
Just like in most things kids like routines. It makes thing normal and reliable. This is just one of the systems we have in place for them.
What are some of the systems you have in your family?
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Flowers and Formal
One of my favorite systems Shannon and I use is what we call our Flowers/Formal system.
Let me explain:
Shannon loves the look of fresh flowers in the house. What woman doesn't right? To be honest, I like it too. Fresh flowers look good, they smell great, there's just not a lot of negatives you can say about fresh flowers. To Shannon it is a constant reminder of my love for her and that I did something, thinking of her on one day, but the sentiment lasts for over a week. If I happen to add one or two pieces of See's candy along with it, well that's just double the points for me. For most people it is not feasible to have fresh flowers every day or every week for that matter. However I have never been a fan of the idea that the only time to get her flowers is on some made up holiday or birthday. Once a month is a good target.
I, like a lot of men, enjoy more physical ways of demonstrating romance. However, there's basic normal romance, what we call "fast food" romance and there is "gourmet dinner" romance. Let's face it, due to time and life circumstance, most marriages have a lot more "fast food" than "gourmet "meals. Most men understand this, we would, however, like having a "gourmet meal" more often than every three months or so. Having our wifes, look (hair and make up done), smell (perfume) and feel (shaved legs and lingerie) like the fresh flowers once a month would be nice.
Therefore Shannon and I put a simple and effective system in place. Once a month Shannon is guaranteed to get a nice bouquet of flowers delivered to her. That is her reminder to put fourth her best effort one evening of her choice. It doesn't mean it is going to happen the night she get' s her flowers. It doesn't even mean it's going to happen that week. It just serves as a mind trigger for her. There is no pressure, it's just a reminder.
As a tip for the guys: I have a account with ProFlowers.com and it reminds me every month to get her flowers. I can even choose to buy a pre-order plan where it automatically ships flowers to her every month with out me having to order. I enjoy choosing the flowers every month so I choose not to do that. However it is there for you guy's who are concerned about forgetting.
For the Ladies: Shannon has been able to find some very tasteful web sites for lingerie and other things. Remember the rule: Flannel is never sexy!
This is just one simple system that we have been able to put into place where everyone gets what they want with no pressure, whining or unrequited feelings of romance.
What systems are you going to put into place today?
Let me explain:
Shannon loves the look of fresh flowers in the house. What woman doesn't right? To be honest, I like it too. Fresh flowers look good, they smell great, there's just not a lot of negatives you can say about fresh flowers. To Shannon it is a constant reminder of my love for her and that I did something, thinking of her on one day, but the sentiment lasts for over a week. If I happen to add one or two pieces of See's candy along with it, well that's just double the points for me. For most people it is not feasible to have fresh flowers every day or every week for that matter. However I have never been a fan of the idea that the only time to get her flowers is on some made up holiday or birthday. Once a month is a good target.
I, like a lot of men, enjoy more physical ways of demonstrating romance. However, there's basic normal romance, what we call "fast food" romance and there is "gourmet dinner" romance. Let's face it, due to time and life circumstance, most marriages have a lot more "fast food" than "gourmet "meals. Most men understand this, we would, however, like having a "gourmet meal" more often than every three months or so. Having our wifes, look (hair and make up done), smell (perfume) and feel (shaved legs and lingerie) like the fresh flowers once a month would be nice.
Therefore Shannon and I put a simple and effective system in place. Once a month Shannon is guaranteed to get a nice bouquet of flowers delivered to her. That is her reminder to put fourth her best effort one evening of her choice. It doesn't mean it is going to happen the night she get' s her flowers. It doesn't even mean it's going to happen that week. It just serves as a mind trigger for her. There is no pressure, it's just a reminder.
As a tip for the guys: I have a account with ProFlowers.com and it reminds me every month to get her flowers. I can even choose to buy a pre-order plan where it automatically ships flowers to her every month with out me having to order. I enjoy choosing the flowers every month so I choose not to do that. However it is there for you guy's who are concerned about forgetting.
For the Ladies: Shannon has been able to find some very tasteful web sites for lingerie and other things. Remember the rule: Flannel is never sexy!
This is just one simple system that we have been able to put into place where everyone gets what they want with no pressure, whining or unrequited feelings of romance.
What systems are you going to put into place today?
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
The things you CAN NOT control
In business there are always things you can control and things you can not. The stock market is something that can not be controlled, the way you invest in the stock market and handle the daily changes in it is something you can control. This is the same in your marriage relationship.
I was reading an article recently about dealing with addictions in your marriage and I wanted to share some thoughts. The article was designed to help a spouse of an addict understand what they can and what they can not control in the situation. As we have all heard, from alcohol to drugs to internet pornography these addictions are increasingly attacking the the bonds of marriages. Often when a spouse learns of a partner's involvement with an addiction they are likely to have a feeling of hopelessness, anger, fear, betrayal and if that addiction involves pornography, a feeling of diminished self worth.
In this confusing time it is important to understand the things a spouse of an addict can and can not control.
Factors spouses CAN NOT control- Their partners behavior- Their partners desire to change their partners recovery process.
Factors spouses CAN control- Their response to their partners behavior- Their ability to care for themselves- Their willingness to forgive- Their own since of self worth
When reading these factors I found it interesting that these factors also are a part of your relationships in general. Wither it be with your spouse, your child, co-worker or your mother-in-law. So often we get involved in the belief that we can change them, usually through complaining, nagging or anger. The truth, that we all know, is that you have no control over other peoples behavior. The only behavior you can have any control over is your own.
Looking for ways to improve yourself and feeling of self worth on an individual basis is crucial to the success of your marriage. Both partners are responsible to bring 100% of their best to the "marriage table". When both are doing so and encouraging each other in their endeavors, with heartfelt interest, the false statement of "we grew apart" that so many use to excuse bad behavior will not be a concern in your Business of Marriage.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Finally Home!
I'm finally back. Shannon and I figured that in the last month I have been home about a week in total.
Jamaica was awesome! We had a great time and really enjoyed not having a cell phone or emails to answer to. It was definitely a memory that the kids will have for a very long time. Here's a little travel tip for you, if you ever go to Jamaica, be careful not to over pack!. By "over pack" I mean more than two swim suits and one regular pair of clothing. We were literally in our swim suits all day everyday and the only time we were in other clothes was to go to dinner. It's great to have a week long vacation that you can get away with just bringing a carry on bag to travel with.
The day after getting back I got a call from T. Harv Eker's group to fly up to Montreal the next day. I did that then came come only to leave three days later for San Fransisco for a MMI event. Then came my five days home only to turn around and take the entire family to California so the kids could attend the Landmark for young people event. After coming home from that Shannon and I had committed to being a part of a BUY filming for a Parenting course. That took two days. Then Saturday I flew out to LA again to speak for a Real Estate company only to fly back Sunday night and here I am.
Now I can start on setting a new date for the BOM event and work on bringing T. Harv Eker himself to SLC. A huge undertaking but I know it will be well worth it.
I just got the promo video for The Business of Marriage back from the videographer and love it. We will be placing it on the web site soon but for now you can view it on youtube by clicking here. http://youtube.com/watch?v=4VT1BrZmEuY
I hope everyone is doing great and look forward to seeing all of you soon.
Jamaica was awesome! We had a great time and really enjoyed not having a cell phone or emails to answer to. It was definitely a memory that the kids will have for a very long time. Here's a little travel tip for you, if you ever go to Jamaica, be careful not to over pack!. By "over pack" I mean more than two swim suits and one regular pair of clothing. We were literally in our swim suits all day everyday and the only time we were in other clothes was to go to dinner. It's great to have a week long vacation that you can get away with just bringing a carry on bag to travel with.
The day after getting back I got a call from T. Harv Eker's group to fly up to Montreal the next day. I did that then came come only to leave three days later for San Fransisco for a MMI event. Then came my five days home only to turn around and take the entire family to California so the kids could attend the Landmark for young people event. After coming home from that Shannon and I had committed to being a part of a BUY filming for a Parenting course. That took two days. Then Saturday I flew out to LA again to speak for a Real Estate company only to fly back Sunday night and here I am.
Now I can start on setting a new date for the BOM event and work on bringing T. Harv Eker himself to SLC. A huge undertaking but I know it will be well worth it.
I just got the promo video for The Business of Marriage back from the videographer and love it. We will be placing it on the web site soon but for now you can view it on youtube by clicking here. http://youtube.com/watch?v=4VT1BrZmEuY
I hope everyone is doing great and look forward to seeing all of you soon.
Friday, May 9, 2008
New Site
We just put up our new site at www.thebizofmarriage.com
There is some great information on our new two day event. Look forward to seeing you there.
There is some great information on our new two day event. Look forward to seeing you there.
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